...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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