Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
