Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
