so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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