Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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