you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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