Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
