would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer