Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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