I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize