Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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