ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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