hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
