bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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