sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
