3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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