State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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