I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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