You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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