So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize