Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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