HIV tests are more positive than that guy
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
