nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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