4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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