She's JV to your varsity
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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