Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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