Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize