No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
