I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
