just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
