just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I believe in your delicious
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
