I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize