9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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