Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
fuck your aforementioned shoe
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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