I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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