I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
