I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize