My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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