Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
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There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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