can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
smell my finger.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
