3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
