You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize