after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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