I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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