I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
