It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
