I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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