Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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