Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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