You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
