Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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