First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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