I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
