I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
