just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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